Life coach Stephanie Chan sheds light on how to achieve your goals by feeling healthier, happier and lighter in body, mind and spirit.
Slumping on the sofa with only the remotes for company? The thought of another day at your job sapping your will to live? You know you need to make changes to create the life you want, but how do you motivate yourself when a box set and bottle of wine are calling your name?
Stephanie says the most common causes of this type of malaise are lack of self-belief or self-worth, lack of confidence, feeling lost/stuck or lacking in direction, or finding it hard to find a relationship.
Here’s what she tells her clients are the common traits of happiness and success:
1. They set clear, specific goals
Examine what you really want to change about your life. Get detailed, and write it down. Seeing things in writing can bring clarity you don’t experience when thoughts are running loose through your head.
2. They’re optimistic
Adopting a positive attitude and seeing challenges as hurdles that can be overcome is another common trait. When an obstacle presents itself, having an emotional response is normal. But it’s easier to tackle if you break it down by asking yourself questions such as:
How can I start to tackle this?
Who can I ask for advice?
Who has experienced this in the past that may be of help?
Breaking a big problem down into smaller issues makes things less overwhelming and dealing with them one at a time can help conquer what originally seemed insurmountable.
3. They shift goal posts
Being flexible can make life easier. Be open to change. Happy people don’t beat themselves up when they fail or something goes wrong. They see it as a learning opportunity.
4. They’re passionate
Successful individuals have compelling reasons for doing what they do. People are content when they not only know what they want to achieve, but why. If you understand what truly motivates you, achieving goals becomes that much easier.
5. They practice self-acceptance
Nobody’s perfect, so remember to be nice to yourself. I speak to myself kindly in my head. Self-acceptance is something many people lack and it doesn’t come easily, but it should be a constant focus. Check in with yourself every day. How do you feel? Are you being true to yourself and living your values.
6. They exercise
Movement is essential for health and happiness. Our emotions cannot function well when our organs, hormones and bodies are under toxic stress and our blood is not circulating well. Figuring out your why – is really important. Exercising because someone wants you to will never motivate you in the same way as exercising because you’ve been told you will die in the next year! Figure out what matters to you, what you find personally inspiring as your reason to exercise.
7. They want to be excellent, not average
Everyone has ups and downs, and some people are great at putting a “face” on things, but some examples of people I believe are genuinely happy and successful are Tony Robbins, Richard Branson and Cate Blanchett. They’re passionate, they believe in what they do, they’re authentic, they accept themselves and are comfortable in their own skin.
8. They leave the naysayers behind
You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with, and you’ll adopt their attitudes and beliefs, so it’s important to have the strength to choose who you surround yourself with. It’s an unavoidable price you’ll pay for moving forward - some people will be left behind if they are not also growing at your pace.
Identify who lifts you up and who drags you down, and start developing contacts and friends who empower and encourage you, while minimising contact with those who don’t. They won’t like it, you will challenge their non-achievement. Accept that this is their problem and not yours.
9. They define their own version of success
Some years ago, when I changed from wanting to accumulate material goods and pleasing others, to accepting myself and focussing on what I truly value, life changed dramatically. It wasn’t an easy journey or a quick one. Many people define success as career, money, the perfect body or ideal relationship. They’ll spend a lot of their life feeling unsuccessful. “
It depends on your definition of success. If you believe being rich is having fresh air, sunshine, a roof over your head and food on the table, then you’ll be rich all your life. Personally, I define success as having freedom and choice to do the things I want and the ability to do those things for my reasons alone - my choice.
This information is current as at 16/12/2016.
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